"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Everyone says I win the strip club
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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