I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
