Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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