I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
