once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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