We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My day in three words: secret purse cake
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
