Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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