Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize