If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
How does one acquire holy water?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
