And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
