5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
