At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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