I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
and she was petting her beer can
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
