Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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