He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
