no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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