he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
