im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
