okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize