Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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