elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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