What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
