You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
