rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
