What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
