That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
