that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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