Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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