We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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