turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
