I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
