just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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