I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
