their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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