Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
