Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
