12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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