I am full of burrito and curiosity
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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