I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i out mim tonsoeep
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