Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
