i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
