if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
