as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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