The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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