it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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