K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
