my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
