Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
