Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
