its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
