Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
