i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
she pinky promised me she was 18
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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