Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
