She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
