Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm too high and old for this...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
