You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
