Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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