# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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