please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
