Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
