The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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