U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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