we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
