i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
