I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
