yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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