Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
