I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
