And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize