your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
