She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize