were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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