So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
