He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize