hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
