that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
